By Juanita Newsom
Guest Writer
Mama J was my mother’s nickname the last year of her
life by the staff at Fresenius Medical Center in Cleveland, Ohio, where she
went 3 times a week for dialysis.
In January 2013, mom was diagnosed with kidney failure and given 3 to 6
months to live.
The definition of mother per Webster’s dictionary
states: to care for or protect, a
nurturer, maternal tenderness of affection. Helen Sandra Johnson portrayed mother with a capital M.
God blessed this
world with a special gift on June 15, 1924 in the person of Helen. She was the second youngest of 15 children and the smallest,
but boy, was she a dynamo! She
exhibited such spirit in her life and especially in her final year. She decided to use the year to see as
many of her family, friends and loved ones as possible. Her family is large, and as the end was
nearing many of her over 80 nieces, nephews, cousins, and other close friends
made sure to come and see her or call her on the phone.
In her 89 years, Helen had accomplished so
much. She was married for over 50
years, she was the first African-American inspector at the clothing
manufacturer, Joseph and Feiss, which became Hugo Boss, and served on the joint
board as a union representative for 20 years. She was the founder of the social club “Les Renards” with
lifelong friends and served as their business manager for more than 30 years.
Helen loved people and was an excellent storyteller
and comedian. Her joy came in
making people laugh, spreading love and humor. I remember as a small child sitting on the floor listening
to the wonderful family stories.
Mom was a fixture in her neighborhood, living there
for over 60 years. She was
affectionately known as mom, grandma, Aunt Helen, or Miss Johnson. My friends loved coming to our house
because she was so much fun.
Our house was the “gathering place” after Sunday
church and especially New Year’s Eve.
There was lots of warmth and ALWAYS good food. Mom was famous for her roast and peach cobbler. I’m reminded of Jesus feeding the masses with fish and loaves of
bread; mom always had enough roast
for whoever stopped by.
I marveled at her mental strength and stamina as she
buried her mother, father, all her siblings and her beloved husband,
Ralph. She lived by the 23rd
Psalm (The Lord is my shepherd…..).
I think that was the theme of her life.
Being so tiny, 4’11”, 98 lbs., everyone always treated
her as a little doll, especially this last year with the many trips to the
hospital. All the nurses, doctors,
and personnel loved to come and see her, because of her positive attitude. One nurse remarked that she wished all
her patients were as sweet as Miss Johnson. She always had a kind word, a compliment, or a smile for her
caregivers.
Dialysis was becoming more and more difficult with
many complications, and finally my sister Shelly and I decided it was time to
bring mom home with hospice. We
had exactly 8 days with mom before her passing. She wanted to come home and we were able to honor that
request.
Bringing her home was the very best decision we
could have made. Hospice was
wonderful and met our every need.
Also, the week before her death, many, many people came to see her and
she was lucid and knew they were there.
I was by her side the entire time and was able to help hospice with her
care. Hospice told us that she
might not be talking or eating, but she was in no pain and could hear us. I remember the night before she died, I
told her “Mom, it’s OK, you can go, we’ll be alright.”
The very next morning, as the nurse from hospice
arrived and we were cleaning her; I called it “anointing her”, her breathing
slowed and she started cooling down.
My sister Shelly, husband Lonnie, nephew Ricky, close cousin Terri,
myself and nurse Tim gathered around her bed and said a prayer, and she took
her last breath. How beautiful is
that? We should all be so blessed
and able to die knowing you are loved, cherished and not alone.
I will always be thankful for that end-of-life
experience I had with my mother.
It taught me so much about dying.
She lived a year and 3 months after the diagnosis. Helen Sandra Johnson was a beautiful
woman and her homegoing was such a celebration. At her funeral, I learned even more about her wonderful life
from people I didn’t even know and heard stories about her encouraging nature.
Mama J’s legacy will live on through all the lives
she impacted. One of Lonnie’s and
my favorite remembrances is how she loved coming to Charlotte to visit and
enjoying our friends. She liked
seeing the birds that came to our birdfeeder, especially the red cardinals
which she called “her red birds”, and our beautiful red crepe myrtle tree, not
a northern tree. We always had to
take pictures, so she could take them back to Cleveland with her.
Until we meet again,
Love,
Juanita
