Blog 139: A Son Writes About His Father

 By James Frison

     I am writing this letter in appreciation and recognition of my father, John H. Frison, Sr.  As I look back over my life at the age of 41, I have a renewed appreciation for the man of God that my father is and the contributions and sacrifices he has made to me and my family.

     Although I learned many things from my father growing up, there are 3 primary lessons that stand out to me:  Sacrifice, Humility and Leadership.

Sacrifice

     Growing up as a young African-American male, we were the 2nd black family to move into our neighborhood in North East Charlotte.  We had a small family with my mom and dad, brother, sister and me.  My father moved to Charlotte to attend college at Johnson C. Smith University where he met my mother.  They later married and moved into a home in North East Charlotte. 

     My father worked as a Package Delivery Driver for UPS for 43 years on the same route in Monroe, NC. My dad was a very hard worker at times holding down 2 or 3 jobs at a time to help make ends meet.  He always told us to do our best in school so that we would not have regrets later in life. He would say "you better get all that you can because one day you will wish that you had."  When we brought home good grades, he would encourage us to "keep up the good work." 

     When I was in the 2nd or 3rd grade, we were learning multiplication using a flash card that had all of the multiplication tables from 1 to 12.  My teacher had instructed us to learn them all.  Being stubborn, I decided that I didn't need to learn my multiplication tables and that playing outside would be a better use of my time. However, my dad thought differently.  

     I remember him telling me to go to my room, sit down and learn those multiplication tables.  My dad came up later that night and found that I had fallen asleep at my desk.  He woke me up and sat there with me to ensure that I  studied my work.  This cycle went on for days (although it felt like years) until I learned them.

     Despite the fact that he had worked all day long on a physically tough job, he still took the time to make sure that I remained focused on my school work.  Although it was stressful at the time, the hard work that my father forced me to put in when I was a kid enabled me to excel in college later in life.  I was able to attend undergraduate and graduate school on full academic scholarships.

Humility

     Growing up, I thought that my dad was invincible.  He wasn't the biggest man in the world but he was exceptionally strong.  I remember in our early teens, my brother and I started weight-lifting.  We had a starter weight set (the plates were filled with concrete) that weighed about 110 lbs total. 

     One day, my brother and our friends were outside trying to clean and press the entire weight set (all 110 lbs) from the ground up into the air.  None of us were able to press the set up into the air.  My dad was out working in the yard and came over to the group.  He told us to move out of the way and leaned down to pick up the barbell.

     However, my dad was using a different technique.  He tried to balance the entire barbell using one hand.  My brother and I were thinking "okay, if this goes well, my dad is the official super hero of the neighborhood.  If not, he is still the strongest one out here."  Well, once he was able to balance the barbell, my dad pressed the weight up over his head and dropped it to the ground....all with one hand and walked away.  The rest of us stood around in silence wondering how in the world he did that.

     Later on, we asked my dad why he didn't say anything after he had pressed the weight.  We were thinking "if we could've done that, we would have been telling everyone."  My dad responded that "there is no need to brag.  When you are confident in your abilities, you do what you need to do and move on."

Leadership

     Parenting is a tough job that does not come with an instruction manual.  My dad was skillful in playing the role of a father balancing both the art and science of the role.  My dad showed us all how to be a leader.  He made sure that we not only attended church every Sunday but that we were involved as well.  He showed us what it means to be a Man and instilled a healthy respect for him.

     While most people look forward to retiring or relaxing after they have raised their own children, my parents have devoted themselves to raising their 3 grandchildren as well. My father spent countless hours coaching, mentoring, and parenting my nephews from young boys to young men.  He ensured that they were involved in extracurricular activities, stayed in school, completed their homework and performed chores around the house.  He tapped into their musical talents when they were young kids and each of them plays multiple instruments today.  They each play for different churches on Sunday mornings and volunteer their musical talents in the community.

     Finally and most importantly, my dad has been a devoted husband to my mother.  They have been married now for 40-plus years and continue to set an example for all of us.

      To this day, my father continues to show leadership.  He serves as an usher in the church and volunteers with the 100 Black Men of America providing mentorship to young boys.

      So it is with honor that I write this letter in appreciation of my dad for Father's Day in hopes that it will serve as an inspiration for others to lead their lives as Men of God.