Blog 64 - Tricky the Dog and Kate the Cat

Blog 64

Our Dog Tricky Died, So Did Kate the Cat.

by

Vernon M. Herron

This blog begins a series of sharing three childhood experiences which reflect culture, mores and emotion. With culture, the customary beliefs, social forms and material traits of a racial, religious or social group are noted. Mores give us habits and manner while emotion shows us grief and love.

Today’s blog describes family conflict, reconciliation, death, funeral, burial, grief and finally healing.

Besides parental care, my early childhood consisted of two sisters, a brother, a dog named “Tricky” and a cat named “Kate.” When Tricky first met Kate, there was constant warfare. There were protective areas for food, shelter and play but Kate held her own. With a “whist”, a “brisk” and an intended claw slap, Tricky “backed down.”

When the two realized that we all were family and that we had to “get along,” then, we all became family united. Tricky accepted Kate without threats as Kate not only tolerated Tricky but also loved him. The family conflict was resolved and peace abound.

The name, “Tricky” was germane to his nature. He performed unusual tricks, obeyed commands, carried bags when he could hold the same with his teeth, would run and hide at bath time and did other funny things. We all loved Tricky, so did Kate. Then there came an unexpected tragedy, Tricky died! How sad! We the kids, decided to act out our culture and give Tricky a proper funeral and burial with all of the accustomed emotions. The back steps were used as the pews of a church; brother and sisters were the mourning family; I was the minister who gave the eulogy at the age of six. I don’t remember my words of comfort but I do remember one sister instructing the other one to “pinch me hard so I will cry.” She did, in fact, the yell was “loud and uncontrollable.”

These actions were in keeping with what we had seen, heard and experienced in our culture. (Will elaborate just a little later)

At the conclusion of the funeral service, we followed the custom and buried Tricky out in the back yard without vault, head stone, bush or tree. May the memories of Tricky live a long time.

This is not the end of the story. Just a short time later when the family was “grief healing,” Kate died and the process was repeated. We often wonder why Kate died so soon after Tricky. Was it due to loneliness, fate or what- ever? Never-the-less, we thank both of them for re-defining for us culture, mores and emotions.

Now, it is clearer why Tricky’s funeral gave us the opportunity to reenact what we had seen, heard and learned.

We had seen male mourner family members sit in church with their hats on.

We had heard family members cry audibly, uncontrollably and even faint.

We had heard the people sing, “Near-row” My God to Thee, instead of “Nearer My God to Thee.” etc., and we had observed “all night” wakes.

Dorothy Law Nolte describes our childhood experiences in her writing:

A Child Lives What He Learns

If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn,

If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.

If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.

If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.

If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.

If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence.

If a child lives with praise, he learns appreciation.

If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.

If a child lives with security, he learns faith.

If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.

If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world.

The next blog will reveal the second childhood experience, noting a mother’s love.